Weird...but I like it.
Why do we feel the need to connect with other human beings? I have often wondered why the need is stronger in some and not strong in others. I look at some of my acquaintances at church who live for the weekend get together or live for the social experiences. They always have to be on the phone with someone or texting at least (maybe both at once). They always have plans to do something and they always know everything about everyone. I look at them in wonder because I don't have time for that, nor do I have any desire for that. I do not like parties. I don't like to have a group of people over at my apartment all the time because then I would feel the need to feed them and entertain them. I don't hate people, I just don't NEED to know everyone. I have never been a social butterfly and during elementary school and middle school that was a hinderment to me, but I found in high school that a core set of friends was really all I needed. But I did need them.
I now have another sort of core set of friends. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life and there are times I do not know how to deal with it. My best friend is a male and to me that is just weird. I have had plenty of male friends throughout the years, but none have ever encroached upon my core friendships. The males in my life have always been objects of desire or passing friends whom I leave when I leave a place or when they happen to leave. One has never been a best friend. And so, I am trying to fit him into another category because I can't have a male best friend unless he is my best friend AND husband, right? I'm learning that is wrong. And I am learning the hard way. For some reason, I can't seem to accept how things have fallen. I have always been stubborn, in my own way, and this is something I am being stubborn about. The category doesn't fit. He's not a woman! But he is my best friend (and not husband). I need him in my life, but I have to make a new category for him. He is not an object of desire or a passing friend. He has become my core best friend who just happens to be a male. Weird. But I'm learning to like it.
I now have another sort of core set of friends. It is unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life and there are times I do not know how to deal with it. My best friend is a male and to me that is just weird. I have had plenty of male friends throughout the years, but none have ever encroached upon my core friendships. The males in my life have always been objects of desire or passing friends whom I leave when I leave a place or when they happen to leave. One has never been a best friend. And so, I am trying to fit him into another category because I can't have a male best friend unless he is my best friend AND husband, right? I'm learning that is wrong. And I am learning the hard way. For some reason, I can't seem to accept how things have fallen. I have always been stubborn, in my own way, and this is something I am being stubborn about. The category doesn't fit. He's not a woman! But he is my best friend (and not husband). I need him in my life, but I have to make a new category for him. He is not an object of desire or a passing friend. He has become my core best friend who just happens to be a male. Weird. But I'm learning to like it.
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