Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Baggage

Well, I haven't written for a long time. Does this really shock anyone? The months I didn't write in were November and December. Historically these months are bad for me, so I thought I would save my imaginary cyberspace friend the hassle of worrying about me and my mental health during these months. So, no posts. I'm not going to tell you (again) how much I despise the Holiday season. Whoops. I just did. It was seriously like a weight/fog had been lifted off my life after the holidays were over. Every year, I think I'm going to be okay. Every year, I think this is the year that retail won't crush me, but every single year, by the end, all I'm doing is eating and sitting when I'm not at work. This is no good. And this year seemed to be especially bad. I'm not sure if it had to do with my promotion or if I've just had enough. By the end...I had had enough. Every other part of my life had faded away. My friends were gone. My family was gone. Even my religion was gone.

Okay, I really did not want to unload, and for 10 months out of the year, life is pretty great, but it's those two months that seem to be defining my life. It's something to think about.

Alright, so new year. It seems like we were just starting a new year. Didn't we just start a new year? 2010? Are you excited about the end of the world, imaginary cyberspace friend? It seems like people were more excited about the year 2012 a couple of years ago, then they are about the actual year starting. I mean, sure, it's only 10 days into the year, but as excited as people were (remember the movie 2012?), you'd think there would have been something floating through facebook/youtube/twitter. Hmmm...maybe there is...I am only just reemerging into the real world. I'm not saying I want the world to end at all, but c'mon, you have to have noticed how sucky this world is sometimes. (Hey, I did say I just came out of the worst two months of the year).

So, change of subject. I'm watching this show called Baggage. It is, admittedly, a complete waste of time, but for some reason, whenever it is on, I can't help but watch it. There really is something about Jerry Springer, isn't there? It's like a horrible accident on the side of the freeway. You know, because traffic has stopped and you can't help but gawk just a little bit as you slowly pass it by. Eh. It's not the best analogy, but I'm going to stick with it. And really, it's not a show I recommend...at all.

I've actually been thinking a lot about baggage in my life lately. I've been around a few years now, been a few places, met a few people. You can't help but pick up some baggage along the way. All in all, I've done pretty good at keeping the drama out of my life (you know, with the exception of a year or so thrown in there), but for some reason there are things/people/ideas/experiences/etc that I can't seem to shake from my life. Sometimes this can become debilitating and it truly feels like there is this piece of baggage that I'm carrying around with me...all of the time. And then, it seems like it's always being added on. I try to put things behind me, let them go, but for some reason, for some things, I'm just not able to. Not able to and sometimes not willing to.

Oh, oh, they're about to reveal the biggest baggage. Gotta go.