Monday, October 17, 2011

If Not...Great

I just got home from a week long vacation to Washington and Oregon last night. I did many cool things, like go to the Oregon coast with just my mom, Leavenworth, hang out with Melanie, go to a Mary Kay party, hang out with Matthew, sleep in the same room as my mother, hang out with Mark, and last, but not least, I got to be a small part of Titus' life. Titus is my two, almost three year old, nephew. He pretty much rocks. This is not what my blog is going to be about, though. I'm actually not sure what my blog is going to be about at this point, so I think I'll keep writing until it focuses onto one thing. I was emailing a friend tonight and at the end, I had a thought: There are certain people in your life, whether they are they for a day, a week, or a lifetime, who, for one reason or another had an impact on your life. Something that you will remember always. Most times, they have no idea what they did, but then my thought expanded to: One day they will know whether in this life or the one to come. They may not have shaped who I am, like my Marques, but they were important to my life. There are so many, I can't remember all of them, but a few come to mind. I won't name names because I don't want this whole jealousy thing going on in my life among my friends/family, but probably each and every one of you that reads this has had some sort of lasting impact on my life.

Next subject: I got my hair cut today. Some of you know that generally signifies something in my life. Usually it's cutting someone or something out of it. Well, I'm not going to say whether today meant anything or not (okay, it did), but I had an interesting conversation with the lady cutting and coloring this head o' mine. I was still deciding whether to grow my hair out or just cut it off when I first walked in there. As the time passed and I was having my pedicure (woohoo), it suddenly occurred to me that the only reason I would have to keep my hair growing long would be to attract more men. I, personally, don't particularly like long hair. I think I look much better with shorter hair, it's healthier on me, and I actually DO my hair if I can't fit it into a ponytail. Coming to this realization, I blurted out, "I want short hair!" She looks up in surprise, smiles, and says, okay. Walking back to the chair to start the cut, the lady says, "Will your husband be okay with you cutting your hair?" I guess the look I gave her made her look down at my hand and step back on her words and say, "oh, I thought you mentioned you were married before." Huh? I had no recollection of this conversation happening at all, but the direction of the conversation naturally moved to dating. I told her I had been in a relationship, but I was back on the dating scene. And it sucked. We then talked about online dating (yeesh...). Then, I said, "you know? I really like where I am in my life right now. If I find someone to share it with, great. If I don't? Great." Now, at this point, I'm waiting for the slight feeling of guilt I would get from telling a white lie, thinking what I just said was a white lie, but I didn't feel it at all. Instead I felt like it was the truth. I know I won't stop looking to share my life with a partner, but if I don't find that person...great.