Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ranting and Raving...Ridiculous

So, I was out this morning/afternoon with a friend from work, John. About a month ago we decided to become gym buddies and today was the first day of the gym buddiness. It was really good and I had a fun time with another person there. I've never had a gym buddy before and I liked it. We went to eat at Subway after the workout and were just talking about our dating lives, and I told him that sometimes I just want to rant and rave about dating. And I know, all you single (and married) people out there can feel my pain. It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. If I were married there is no way I would ever get divorced if only for the fact that I would never, ever want to go through the dating process again! I say bring on the counseling/therapy/shock therapy. Anything to not have to go through this again. With that said...I'm a picky dater. I never thought I would say that, but it's true. Once the opportunities started coming, I found that I couldn't just settle for the first person who came along because they showed some interest in me. He was completely wrong for me and I would have steamrolled all over him, so I don't feel bad about that one, but he was also a completely nice guy. (Yeah, he won't read this blog). Anyway, I decided to take a month off of dating because I wasn't getting anywhere and my pickiness was starting to wear thin on me, plus it was holiday at work, so it seemed like a good time to do it. Well, it's January and I said I wanted to have a date lined up by the 20th...well, it's the 20th and it is getting ridiculous out there. It seems like from the month of December to the month of January men have lost their, um....you fill in the blanks. What happened, men? Where are you? Like I said...ridiculous. I am going to list my perfectly unbiased qualifications for you and you be the judge: I am smart. Beautiful (and p.s. I'm only getting better looking as I get older). I want commitment (is that a problem for LDS men somehow??). I actually want to be a mother and be a dang good one at that. I am a leader. I am focused. I am tall (hello! Tall is sexy). I can cook. I eat healthy. I workout and want to prolong my life. I love to travel. I am happy 95% of the time (yes, I have a period because I'm a woman in my early 30's, so it's not all sunshine all the time). I'm a good person in general. I have no outstanding warrants for my arrest. I'm a little reserved. I'm a runner. I'm a fighter. I want to be a lover. I have intelligent thoughts that sometimes come out a little silly. Sometimes my silly thoughts come out a little intelligent. And if all else fails...I'm a U.S. Citizen. So, with all that going for me, I don't understand why it is so ridiculous going right now. They (and when I say they...I literally mean every person who's ever given me advice on dating) say to be patient, that someone, the right one, will come along (of course, then they also say it's hard to believe someone hasn't snatched me up...picky much?). I do choose to believe them...95% of the time.

Well, I hope you have enjoyed my little rant and rave about dating. Oh, ridiculous dating. How I wish for thy death*.

*But only if a ring on my finger supersedes it.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Belief

Well, my dear imaginary cyberspace friend, did you miss me? I know it's only been three weeks, but somehow Christmas doesn't seem three weeks ago. It seems so much longer. The new year is here (go 2011!), a little less than two years to go...you know until December 21, 2012. Work with me, friend. So, today has been an interesting day. I went for a drive today. Now, you may be wondering how that is interesting and in the great scheme of things, it's not. But I haven't been just driving for no reason for almost four years now. It used to be one of my favorite activities to go out in the countryside of Prosser and just drive the back roads. I am a country girl at heart (always will be no matter how big the city I live in grows around me) and I wanted a little bit of country today. But let me backtrack just a little bit. Earlier in the day, I had emailed a friend a question. It was a serious kind of question, but really one I needed to answer for myself. I had asked him if he really believed. When no one is looking, what do you believe? And is that belief deep inside your heart (okay, I only asked the first two questions, but the last one was for me). It is one thing to loudly proclaim something and to show the world what you believe, but it is quite another to have it in your heart always, especially when everyone around you is gone and the spotlight is off. Now, for those of you who are able to do both, I am grateful for that example. To believe and then show that belief. But for myself...was that belief deep enough to get me through? To look at all the bad examples around me, step around them and be true to what was inside? And can belief's change? I believe the answer to that question is yes. While truths do not, beliefs can. It is possible to believe that a truth is a lie with enough evidence shoved in your face. It is also true that you can believe a lie is truth. But it is also possible to believe that a truth is a truth, that a lie is a lie. I'll be the first one to admit that I've been won over by a lie in my life, more than once. Haven't you, imaginary cyberspace friend? No comment? Well, back to this evening. I had to run a redbox movie back quickly, so it wouldn't be late, and was headed right back home. I was getting to the driveway when I decided I wanted to go for a drive. I remembered from my youth what a good way that was to be alone, to think, to meditate on my beliefs. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of country around me, so I found myself driving on the freeway, then up Bangater Highway...anyway. I was thinking about my beliefs while I was cruising around lazy (ha!) Sunday drivers. It was raining lightly and it just seemed like the perfect scene for an accident (haha...just kidding, I'm a completely safe driver even lost in thought). Well, this thought came to me that I was strong enough and my beliefs were deep enough inside of me to withstand anything thrown at me. That I didn't have to worry about falling and never being able to get back up (yes, we all know falling is never fun, but it happens, especially when you're a klutz like me). My parents taught me their beliefs and they did an excellent job, but there comes a point where those beliefs either become lies or truths in each individuals eyes (regardless of actual truth). Well, my parents beliefs were my own. They are my own. And they are deep enough.