That's How I Roll
Well, Imaginary Cyberspace Friend, I am feeling back to normal. It is a good, good feeling. I'm listening to Celine Dion right now (her new album is off the hook! Yes...I did just say that) and feeling determined. Is that the right word? I guess I normally feel determined, so that is the right word. I am determined to get out of debt this year (besides the big stuff). I am determined to work with my hot trainer and succeed at looking hot...ter by the beginning of the summer, so I can wear my super cute red polka dot bathing suit again. I am determined to keep doing well at school. I am determined to take the GMAT.
Okay, so this is completely off the subject I thought I was going for, but does it ever make sense to look back in order to move forward? I keep resisting doing the same type of things I did before to lose weight, but why? Why am I resisting? Because it didn't work in the long run? But it did. I kept weight off for almost five years. It took an awful lot for me to give up. I remember when I was first losing weight, I would have nights alone in my apartment and just workout like a demon. I would read through nutrition books or browse through websites to learn more. I learned how my body lost weight and was very successful at it. I was proud of myself. Determined. It led me to start (and finish some) great things with my life.
The weight that I have put back on has almost completely paralyzed my life. I don't date. I am not taking steps to better my professional life. I looked in the mirror, really looked, for the first time in a long time just a couple of days ago. A long, hard, critical look. Since we are each our harshest critics, it was rough, but it was also kind of crazy to me how much that did to clear my head of this paralyzing feeling. I've decided that on February 1st, I am going to start really dating again. Not just making out with random men I've met off the internet (Melanie, you were right...that may have been slightly whorish), but find a real relationship. I don't know if I'm ready or not, but ready or not, I'm determined to do it.
So, tonight, I worked out like a demon in my house. Danced like no one was looking (because no one was) and then got serious and did some Jillian 30-Day Shred. Because that's how I roll. Looking back...to move forward.
Okay, so this is completely off the subject I thought I was going for, but does it ever make sense to look back in order to move forward? I keep resisting doing the same type of things I did before to lose weight, but why? Why am I resisting? Because it didn't work in the long run? But it did. I kept weight off for almost five years. It took an awful lot for me to give up. I remember when I was first losing weight, I would have nights alone in my apartment and just workout like a demon. I would read through nutrition books or browse through websites to learn more. I learned how my body lost weight and was very successful at it. I was proud of myself. Determined. It led me to start (and finish some) great things with my life.
The weight that I have put back on has almost completely paralyzed my life. I don't date. I am not taking steps to better my professional life. I looked in the mirror, really looked, for the first time in a long time just a couple of days ago. A long, hard, critical look. Since we are each our harshest critics, it was rough, but it was also kind of crazy to me how much that did to clear my head of this paralyzing feeling. I've decided that on February 1st, I am going to start really dating again. Not just making out with random men I've met off the internet (Melanie, you were right...that may have been slightly whorish), but find a real relationship. I don't know if I'm ready or not, but ready or not, I'm determined to do it.
So, tonight, I worked out like a demon in my house. Danced like no one was looking (because no one was) and then got serious and did some Jillian 30-Day Shred. Because that's how I roll. Looking back...to move forward.
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| Hey, look! My first Facebook picture ever! |
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