Succeed In Change
This morning I woke up with puffy eyes. Does this have anything to do with the topic of this blog? Not really, but it's a detail. The topic of this blog is one of revamping. But we'll get to that in a little bit. First, I want to start with a little background.
11 months ago, I started chatting with this boy from Price, Utah. I was currently in the best shape of my life. It did not end well (see posts from February 2012), but one thing most people, who don't see me on a regular basis, don't know is it was also a catalyst to give up. After that experience, I stopped going to the gym regularly and I started eating from convenience stores. I also started playing large amounts of video games. Drinking soda. It was almost like I was outside of this life I had worked so hard for and all I could do was watch it quickly spiral out of control.
When I started school, 50 lbs heavier than 6 months previous, I kept saying to myself: this is actually a good thing because you are going to have clients who do this sort of thing. They are going to have one moment in their lives that they can't seem to get over and it will be your job to help them through it, nutritionally and most likely, emotionally! But I had to get through it, myself, in order for this logic to work. I tried starting another competition to jump start weight loss. I tried joining a kickboxing gym because that is an exercise I really enjoy doing. I took a Fitness for Life class at school. I have even committed to a degree of Exercise and Sports Science. I have come up with 12 things in my life that were either detrimental to my weight loss or could help it.
And finally, I have to admit to myself: Nothing seems to be working. Why is the question I asked myself this morning. Why after everything I've been through and committed to and spent money for (school is expensive) am I not motivated? Not only am I not motivated to continue on a weight loss path, I completely regressed down the path I had taken. I have the tools. I have the knowledge and I'm gaining more knowledge almost every day now.
After asking myself why, I decided I needed to make a pros and cons list to losing weight. There MUST be some sort of CON to losing weight if I seem to be so against it. Here is what I came up with:
Pros:
1. I would look Hot
2. I would have more Energy
3. And Confidence
4. It is Career Motivating
5. Heart Attack potentially Diverted
6. I can Motivate others
7. I can Run Races again
8. I get to work through Weight Related Issues
9. I would enjoy going to the Gym
10. I would Date again
That seems like it should be good enough for anyone to start. Plenty of motivation, right?
Here is my cons list:
1. Men might Use Me
2. I have an excuse Not to Date or Get Hurt
3. It's how I've Always Been-I Don't have to Change
I've known about the man issue for a couple of months now, but I don't think I knew about the third one. People have an identity in this life. It is usually formed in the early years of childhood and adolescence. At least for me, it was. I have always been the fat one. I know this one thing is true: even when I was at my fittest, I still saw myself as fatter than everyone else around me. I did not appreciate my hard work. I did not recognize the fact that I had lost 85 lbs. All I saw was I still was able to shop at Lane Bryant. I was still bigger than most of my co-workers. Here's the kicker: even though my body had changed, my mind was still stuck way back on that dang path. And when I let my guard down this past year, my mind dragged my body back with it. Let's be completely honest: That sucks. It sucks that I have to do it all over again. It sucks that I have to spend money to buy bigger clothes and then turn around and spend more money to buy smaller clothes. It sucks to have to look friends and family in the face and have them physically see how far I've fallen. It sucks to not be able to workout like I want to. And all of this for three stupid reasons.
After making that pros and cons list, I decided:
1. The Pros definitely Outweigh the Cons
2. I have to Revamp some Things in my life (ahhhhh...there it is)
3. I will never Succeed In a career Change if I don't change first
The first thing I am going to revamp is this blog. Since I'm going to be learning about nutrition for the next several years, I am going to share that knowledge with you, along with this second journey I'm starting on. I want to get a broader audience, so if you know anyone who needs nutritional advice, along with a dose of humor about the whole thing, sign them up. I plan on writing every few days, to possibly turn into a daily thing. Baby steps.
11 months ago, I started chatting with this boy from Price, Utah. I was currently in the best shape of my life. It did not end well (see posts from February 2012), but one thing most people, who don't see me on a regular basis, don't know is it was also a catalyst to give up. After that experience, I stopped going to the gym regularly and I started eating from convenience stores. I also started playing large amounts of video games. Drinking soda. It was almost like I was outside of this life I had worked so hard for and all I could do was watch it quickly spiral out of control.
When I started school, 50 lbs heavier than 6 months previous, I kept saying to myself: this is actually a good thing because you are going to have clients who do this sort of thing. They are going to have one moment in their lives that they can't seem to get over and it will be your job to help them through it, nutritionally and most likely, emotionally! But I had to get through it, myself, in order for this logic to work. I tried starting another competition to jump start weight loss. I tried joining a kickboxing gym because that is an exercise I really enjoy doing. I took a Fitness for Life class at school. I have even committed to a degree of Exercise and Sports Science. I have come up with 12 things in my life that were either detrimental to my weight loss or could help it.
And finally, I have to admit to myself: Nothing seems to be working. Why is the question I asked myself this morning. Why after everything I've been through and committed to and spent money for (school is expensive) am I not motivated? Not only am I not motivated to continue on a weight loss path, I completely regressed down the path I had taken. I have the tools. I have the knowledge and I'm gaining more knowledge almost every day now.
After asking myself why, I decided I needed to make a pros and cons list to losing weight. There MUST be some sort of CON to losing weight if I seem to be so against it. Here is what I came up with:
Pros:
1. I would look Hot
2. I would have more Energy
3. And Confidence
4. It is Career Motivating
5. Heart Attack potentially Diverted
6. I can Motivate others
7. I can Run Races again
8. I get to work through Weight Related Issues
9. I would enjoy going to the Gym
10. I would Date again
That seems like it should be good enough for anyone to start. Plenty of motivation, right?
Here is my cons list:
1. Men might Use Me
2. I have an excuse Not to Date or Get Hurt
3. It's how I've Always Been-I Don't have to Change
I've known about the man issue for a couple of months now, but I don't think I knew about the third one. People have an identity in this life. It is usually formed in the early years of childhood and adolescence. At least for me, it was. I have always been the fat one. I know this one thing is true: even when I was at my fittest, I still saw myself as fatter than everyone else around me. I did not appreciate my hard work. I did not recognize the fact that I had lost 85 lbs. All I saw was I still was able to shop at Lane Bryant. I was still bigger than most of my co-workers. Here's the kicker: even though my body had changed, my mind was still stuck way back on that dang path. And when I let my guard down this past year, my mind dragged my body back with it. Let's be completely honest: That sucks. It sucks that I have to do it all over again. It sucks that I have to spend money to buy bigger clothes and then turn around and spend more money to buy smaller clothes. It sucks to have to look friends and family in the face and have them physically see how far I've fallen. It sucks to not be able to workout like I want to. And all of this for three stupid reasons.
After making that pros and cons list, I decided:
1. The Pros definitely Outweigh the Cons
2. I have to Revamp some Things in my life (ahhhhh...there it is)
3. I will never Succeed In a career Change if I don't change first
The first thing I am going to revamp is this blog. Since I'm going to be learning about nutrition for the next several years, I am going to share that knowledge with you, along with this second journey I'm starting on. I want to get a broader audience, so if you know anyone who needs nutritional advice, along with a dose of humor about the whole thing, sign them up. I plan on writing every few days, to possibly turn into a daily thing. Baby steps.
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