Annual Blog Post on the Holidays

Well, it's December 6th and it's probably about time for my annual blog post on the holidays. Right? Shouldn't I be crazy (or getting there) right about now? It will probably happen in a couple of weeks, but right now, I feel...Christmas Spirit. It is a strange feeling. I haven't felt it for a few years, at least. I haven't decorated much for Christmas since I've been in Utah as evidenced by the fact that all of my holiday boxes are still in storage up in Washington. So, what makes this year different? Why do I feel content with just sitting by the tree I decorated? A week ago, I didn't think I would feel like this. I was preparing to feel all Scrooge-y again. In fact, I even ticked off one of my dearest sisters with negative comments about the holidays. I felt justified in my comments at the time. She didn't know how I was supposed to feel this time of year. She didn't know that I come home and just sit or sleep. All my energy is poured into my work. She didn't know that because of other people's negative comments or other people's attitudes that my life is worse. She didn't know that I am lonely. So lonely this time of year. She didn't know that when I come home each night to sit, I have no one to talk to about my day. I have no one who fully understands this except others who, like me, are jaded by this holiday.

But the more I sat there that night, looking at the meager decorations I had collected over the past couple of years still in boxes, something...changed. I didn't want to feel Scrooge-y. I didn't want to go through this short season bitter and putting on an act whenever I am at work, but then coming home to nothing. So, the next day, I started to plan. I pulled out the fake tree my roommate has kept stored in a closet (let's face it...it's much cheaper than a real tree). I purchased decorations (because mine are still in Washington) and put on Christmas music, willingly. And got to work. In the matter of a morning and afternoon, my living room and kitchen went from being very, very sparsely decorated (there were three blocks that spelled out JOY
and three bowls with pine cones and holly in them) to being fully decorated with a beautiful tree, two Nativity scenes, and a bunch more carefully placed nick knacks. I like it.