I just made up some motivational signs to, well, motivate me as I walk down to the basement (where my bedroom is). There's also one on my fridge that says, "Never trade what you want the Most for what you want this Moment." I have a hard time with that. I'm very much of the generation of this moment or nothing. There are so many songs written about this night only, or in this moment, or we don't know how long we have, etc, etc, etc. It's so moment to moment, that sometimes actually KNOWING what you want the most is the problem. In case there's someone out there who doesn't know this, I got a trainer at the beginning of the year. He's pretty good. Young, but good (sheesh, I am so old! At least, I keep making comments that make me sound old ;)). Our second sit down he gave me the speech of not trading what I want the most for what I wanted in the moment. This was intended for food. But I had been dwelling and writing about this topic for a couple of days before this sit down, so it stuck a big chord with me. If you read my last post, I have a food addiction and there are more times that I traded the moment for the most than I can ever seem to count. Having that mindset is difficult because while in the moment it is soooo hard to reach for the "most". It is essential to have a successful life, but it is difficult. I don't believe it is ever impossible, just difficult. It takes practice, discipline. Ahhh...discipline. Something else my generation lacks a great deal of. I have not been impressed with my generation in case you were wondering. I'm part of it. I can readily own up to my own apathetic past (hopefully not future). I just admitted that I live in the moment more than I am comfortable with, but I am hoping with the changes I have made in my life and continue to make that I will be a contributing member of this society instead of a drain on it. That was one of the most motivating factors to changing my life...I felt like I was not contributing to society. I wasn't living life, but letting it pass me by, not caring about neighbors, not doing service to those in my community, but basically living to fulfill my own selfish wants (not needs, wants). I had no legacy to leave behind. Hmmm...I believe I have blogged about this before. It takes dedication and discipline to change your life. It is not easy. There is no easy fix. No magic pill. No genie ready to grant wishes. There IS help if asked for (sometimes not asked for :)). But I think perhaps the first step to real change is figuring out what you DO want the most. When I moved down to Utah, the thing I wanted most was to get an education so I could go out and educate and help others with their lives, health wise. That is still my most for being down in Utah. In terms of my trainer and weight loss goals, what I want the most is to be healthy, to not get the debilitating diseases that come with being morbidly obese, to live a long time and to look really hot while doing it. Hey! I'm not perfectly humble. So, when I do eat terribly, I am forgetting that most. When I don't give my all during a workout or worse yet, choose to not workout, then I am giving in to the moment. I have come to realize over the past year that I hold myself to very high standards. But the thing is, I also know that failure to reach these very high standards can create some awesome lessons in my life. Lessons that I need to learn. Failure helps me to grow. It can help you, too, imaginary cyberspace friend. Those last couple of statements may contradict the rest of the blog, but really, both parts are vital. If you don't taste the bitterness of failure, how are you ever going to know the sweet taste of success? So, yes, I hold myself to these high standards, and I am trying to live more for the most than the moment, but sometimes I fail at this. I fail. Learn. Grow and reach again. But when I don't fail, oh, how sweet it is.
Oh, the picture was chosen because it represents the biggest most in my life.
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