One MAJOR Flaw (with making a single man, of a certain age, interested in women, your best friend)
Alright, this is something that I've been thinking about for a little while. Boys. Okay, I've been thinking about them for most of my life, but today's topic is boys as friends. I am both a fan and not a fan. Why wouldn't I be a fan? Well, that will come later, but let's first do a pro list. I am a fan of pros and cons lists and feel like there is never enough of them in the world...yeah. But for this topic, I think it is appropriate.
1. First and foremost is they generally have considerably less drama in their lives than women. Since I am a woman, I can say this.
2. They like to do outdoor stuff (this is also a generalization).
3. They like to watch cool movies (I have found this to be pretty universal).
4. I learn things from them my mother never taught me...nor my father.
5. I find them generally easier to talk to because the conversation is usually to the point and they won't just let me go on and on and on and on without stopping me.
6. They are nice to look at. Even if we are just friends.
7. They have given me invaluable insight into the mind of men and what they think, look for, etc.
8. They don't over-think things (usually).
9. They generally don't care how they look (when we are in the friendship zone). Dirty t-shirt? Haven't showered for three days? Sure!! Come on over!
10. They seem to boost confidence instead of tearing down (again...a generalization).
You would think from my Top 10 List of Pros for having male friends that I would be all over that. And I have been. Until recently. There is just one MAJOR flaw with making a single man of a certain age, interested in women, your best friend. They tend to start dating those women. Then, if everything aligns perfectly in the heavens, they get married to one of those women. Well, shoot. What do I do then? If it were a perfect world, then the new girlfriend or wife would realize that I just wanted to be friends, nothing more. But it is not a perfect world and the friendship we once had is...gone. Sometimes it works out if it's just a girlfriend, but when it becomes more serious, I have to step out, if I hadn't already been cast aside in the name of love to begin with (I really like it when it's not even my decision to end a friendship...).
If I were in a solid, stable, long term relationship, I wouldn't be writing this. I'm not saying that because I loooong for a solid, stable long term relationship or that I'm pining to find the "one." No, it is just a fact that if I were part of a couple, I could have other couple friends, including the male. No big deal.
The moral of this story? I need more girl friends.
While I have no comment on why you like guys as friends (particularly how they are nice to look at) I would like to say a bit from my perspective. Firstly if a friendship ends because they found a girlfriend/significant other, then that says a lot about the guy. I have had many female friends and have never ended a friendship because of a relationship. If a girlfriend gets jealous of a friend of mine just because she is female, then maybe I should be looking for someone else. My opinion is that if she is jealous of something its because it something she has thought about doing herself. I prefer my women to be strong. If your friends are willing to give up a good friendship, whether they be a male or female friend, for relationship; well, maybe they aren't worth being friends with.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that turned into a little bit of a rant, it's just that I prefer to have strong reliable people in my life. If a friend can't be that, then I would prefer to be on my own.
Your Cousin
Sam